Fed up with body shape

[gobe]

Just need to express my growing frustration about my body. It has served me well all my life and I have not had problems with it until I hit menopause, I was never skinny but I was always a slim UK size 12 all over and due to my slim hips sometimes a size 10 for trousers and jeans. I am five foot five (or I used to be I think I have shrunk in height a little). I never had to diet and I have never been on a diet in my entire life. My approach to food has always been - eat everything in moderation, Yet my whole life I always felt a little too big mainly due to my body shape. I had a muscular build with square shoulders and very small boobs. I suppose I was what would be described as an inverted triangle body shape. My upper half has always been bigger than my lower half - I am the opposite shape to the pear shape.

Now two years plus post meno and everything has changed. I have not gained that much weight (about ten pounds) but my entire shape has changed. My boobs have gained three cup sizes, my waist has thickened and I have a little pot belly. I look so different and nothing fits me properly anymore. I now have to buy clothes in three different sizes. I buy a size 16 for tops for my bigger boobs. A size 14 for skirts and trousers and a size 12 for low cut jeans and briefs. The tops look crap because they only fit my boobs and the rest of the material swamps me from boobs down. Trousers look awful as well since they fit at the waist but look baggy in the hips thighs and rear yet if I buy a smaller size they will not fasten at the waist. I now have the shape of an ice cream cone. It is really getting me down now and I have hardly anything that I feel nice in any more. I alternate between accepting this new body shape and hating it. I have now reached the point where I think that a diet is the only answer but I already eat so little I am wondering where to cut back.

Today I am going back with yet another top that does not fit me. This is getting so depressing. I can see that it is going to take me a long time to assemble a new wardrobe of clothes to fit my new body shape. On a more positive not I have bought five new coats and jackets from Lands End that are lovely and fit me so that at least is sorted.

Sorry to moan on about this but I just felt so frumpy when I was out yesterday visiting my brother and his wife in the country, She looked so slim and pretty in a green floaty chiffon top and there was me in ill fitting clothes feeling old, frumpy, fat bloated and downright ugly.

[jacksfullofaces]

Hi Bex
This is an issue which affects many women and I feel sympathy for you. There are a few things you can do to help. A waist cincher can whittle those inches from your waist - temporary yes but pleasing.
You can consider surgery. I know one woman who had a tummy tuck and is delighted. Hormones also help. I don't know how you feel about these options but they are possibilitiesyou might want to think about.
Diet won't make an awful difference if you are already eating healthily but a pre biotic can help prevent bloat syndrome - digestive enzymes are also good.
hugs Jacks

[Gelis]

Oh Bex I am with you all the way on that one. I've never been small, and have always had large-ish boobs, so I was a 16 top and 14 for skirts & trousers, though trousers were sometimes difficult as my waist was on the smaller side - to get trousers to fit my hips they were too big on the waist, usually.

Now I'm an 18 (sort of) all over, but nothing fits properly at all. I can get away with 16 skirts, as long as they are loose fitting round the hips, trousers & shorts have to be 18. Tops a generous 18 or 20 if cheaper makes.

Having said all that, most of my clothes are ancient, and I can get away with trousers/shorts most of the time, as I don't go out to work and need "smart" things. I just hate feeling so "solid" and really wish my boobs would shrink! I look in the mirror and see my Mum or my paternal grandmother, both of whom were "bosomy" ladies, and I hate it - it seems so aging. I've struggled with my weight all my life, so that is nothing new, but it seems worse than ever now. I eat a largely vegetarian diet - because I'm more comfortable with that - but I do eat quite a bit of cheese, mainly because I love it, and for the protein & calcium. I hardly ever eat sweets of any kind and my only chocolate indulgence is a chocolatey cake at the weekends. Wine probably doesn't help, but that's the only alcohol I drink - no beer or spirits.

AAAARGH!

Gxx

[gobe]

Thank you for all your replies. Good to know that I am not the only one feeling this way but not good that we are all struggling with this.

[gobe]

Well done Pinky! You have given me hope. Woaca has also lost a lot of weight but she is seven years post meno. Some women do seem to lose their meno weight naturally and gradually but for others it does seem harder,

So, please tell me exactly what your diet entails and how many years are you post meno if you don't mind me asking?

[Gelis]

Would be good to know, for sure! I guess reducing carbs might be the answer for me now. Up until a couple of years ago I could lose weight by eating normally, but just less, if you see what I mean, but this doesn't seem to work any more. I have the added complication of trying to reduce spending, too - I always cook "properly", from scratch, but am inclined to resort to pasta + stir fried veg topped with cheese when I run out of inspiration!

I've always (to my shame) been critical of people who "fill up" with carbs, but with the situation here in Greece being what it is, I've learned why they do it. Being hungry isn't fun for anyone.

Gxx

[Robyn]

I totally understand how you feel. I’m 5’4” and back in my 20s I was about 53kg (roughly just over 8 stone). Over the years my weight crept up, and I would always yo-yo at bit, but when I was in my late 30s I was still just over 9 stone.

Once I hit my 40s though my weight slowly started to creep up and I found it harder and harder to lose it. When I was younger, any weight I carried was always below my waist. I always had a very small waist in comparison to my hips, but suddenly I began to notice that I was starting to get a roll of fat between my bra strap and waist. Where the hell did that come from? My boobs have gone from a respectable 12B, up to around a 14DD. What the hell !!!

I’m still managing to squeeze into most of my (Aust) size 14 pants, but they are getting a bit on the tight side. I really wanted to lose some weight before our summer, because I’m scared that nothing I’ve got for summer will fit me. I’m happy to buy new clothes, but I refuse to buy anything in a bigger size. Unfortunately I’ve never been a fashionista, and I really don’t have a lot of interest in clothes, so I really don’t know how to dress to suit my current shape. I need Gok Wan to tell me what to wear (and I wouldn’t say no to a kiss and a cuddle from him as well…lol…).

Unfortunately because of my sleep issues I haven’t had a lot of motivation or energy to bother with making a concerted effort to watch what I eat or exercise. Currently though, I have feeling a lot better, so I really have to start working on it.

I think it posted something on another thread about reading that the best ratio of carbs to protein was 2:1 (2 grams of carbs to every 1 gram of protein). So I’ve worked out an eating program with the help of a website called Calorie King which follows that ratio. Next week, after I’ve been shopping I’m going to try sticking to this plan and hopefully I will lose a bit of weight. I don’t want to be skinny, and probably never will be again, but I really want to lose around 6kg (about 1 stone), just so my clothes fit better.

If anyone else wants to try Calorie King it’s quite a good site, because they will give you the breakdown of all food (ie fat, protein, carbs, calories etc). It is an Australian site, so a lot of the products are specific to Australia, but they do also give the breakdown on generic products as well. Here is the link if you would like to have a look at it.

www.calorieking.com.au/about_us.php

[Gelis]

Thanks for the very detailed explanation, Pinky - definitely food for thought :D

Gxx

[stumpy]

I feel 'firmer' all over since starting HRT. Boobs have got feelign back in them again!!

Am size 12...little pot belly is going too now.

By the time I am 50 will my body be 35 again??? be nice but i wouldnt be so lucky!!

[gobe]

I found the post you made very inspirational Pinky and it has given me a good starting point for the start of my new food plan. I have decided to try reducing my carbs so today I replaced my cereal breakfast with low fat cherry bio yogurt (I am never very hungry in the mornings) and I feel that will help my bloating problem as well since it contains bio cultures. I aim to cut out potatoes, rice and pasta and replace them with extra veg instead. Bread is also going to be replaced with oat crackers or rye crackers.

For lunch I had one small plate of tomato soup with some oat crackers and half a carton of low fat chive and onion cottage cheese.

For our evening meal I am cooking from scratch a chile con carne. I will serve it with rice for OH and I will have a plain green salad - I love salad so that is not a hardship for me.

I have also bought some tins of tuna since I love tuna salad and that will be my lunch for tomorrow with a couple of rivita or oat crackers. I also plan on getting some Edam cheese and some small cocktail sausages.

What do you think Pinky?

[stumpy]

[gobe]

Thank you.

If I was really brave I would step on the scales and weigh myself but I threw them out years ago after I read "Fat is a Feminist Issue" so I never know what I weigh, I just go by how my clothes fit. Last year I had to get weighed at the Well Woman clinic our surgery runs. I told the nurse not to tell me how much I weighed and I shut my eyes so I could not see. Afterwards I told her only to tell me how much I weighed if I was overweight. She told me I was within my BMI but I must be getting close to overweight since I was always in the middle of the range before and I have gained a few pounds since last year. My bust has increased by four inches and my hips two inches. Here are my vitals:

Bust: 40
Waist: too scared to put a tape measure around it so unknown
Hips: 38

I am just doing this so I have a record of my measurements at the start of this journey.

[Gelis]

I refuse to use scales as well. I've always been "big" even if not technically overweight. When I was in my late teens I lost a lot of weight and ended up at 8st 10lb (my lightest ever). According to all the weight/height charts that was ideal - I'm 5'6". I actually looked terrible - concave stomach, no bum. My father is a big man, tall & broad, and my mum was large, too. Those charts take no account of skeletal size and give a really skewed idea of what one should weigh.

I have always, therefore, found my actual weight really depressing, as it never fitted what I "should" weigh, according to those charts. The BMI measurement is more helpful, but I just go by what clothes I can wear and, more importantly, how I feel & look - at the moment, not good, which is why I need to lose some weight.

Gxx

[susan]

Finally found time to read this thread thoroughly and just wanted to join in with the genuine disquiet at what menopause seems to do to a woman's body.

Like a few have mentioned I am also a kind of triangle, with the large part of it being the top and having virtually no hips.

In fairness i have always been like this but as a young woman my top was size 12, waist size 10 and hips size 8, so it wasn't a huge problem.

I was always busty, but having size 32DD's and a slim body was fine by me and most others,

Cue another 30 years and all of those sizes go up at least 2 or 3 depending on the style of clothes and basically you get a somewhat frumpy matronly look.

I have probably messed up my metabolism over the years and eat very little really. I feel carbs are the problem and the answer, plus a need to step up activity. However I do think there is a redistribution of weight that goes on during the menopause, as I see so many women in their late forties/early fifties who have this bizarre stomach that isn't really were their stomach is but sits below the bust.

A hospital gynea told me that it is something to do with the way women retain fluid once into middle age.

quite frankly I have no idea what the answer is and try and come up with my own look based on wearing skirts that cut off just below the knees, loose fitting tops and am still tottering around in Mary Janes with three inch heels to give me a much needed bit of height to balance my weight.

We live on fish, chicken, salad and vegetables and probably only have what would be deemed bad stuff one a week if that.

xxxx

[gobe]

Gelis - I have also always felt big due to having a large rib cage and square shoulders. When I was a 36 round the bust that was when I had tiny AA boobs. All rib cage and very little breast tissue. I have never felt dainty and feminine - I don't think that look can ever be achieved unless one has small slightly sloping shoulders and a small ribcage. I feel like the Hulk now!

Isn't the extra abdominal fat laid down during peri meno to help us through menopause? I have read that somewhere.

Like I said earlier I alternate between accepting this and hating this and quite honestly I could do without all this stress at this time of my life. Nature plays a cruel trick on women.

I will give the eating plan a go and if that fails to shift the weight then I suppose I will have to gracefully accept theses changes to my body shape but not without putting up a bit of a fight first!

Susan it sounds like you are more accepting of things now and I do admire that. Maybe it just takes a little time to adjust to how we look on the outside. I now feel like am wavering and about to go into acceptance mode again. It is like a battle of wills going on between my brain and my body.

[susan]

I sort of am half excepting of it, but another part of me fights it as well.

I think being 100% accepting of it can be a dangerous road as the next thing you know you are a size 20, 22, 24

The older I get I worry more about the health issues associated with being overweight than I do to the vaniety issues, even though we all of course want to look the best we can.

There is no getting away from the fact that it is dangerous for your health to be overweight, so I use that as a focus me as well.

xxxx

[gobe]

Good point Susan.

[jacksfullofaces]

bust 40 waist 26 hips 38 Post thyroid medication
pre thyroid medication bust 40 waist 30 inches hips 39
Jacks
PS I don't own scales

[gobe]

You have a tiny waist Jacks.

Well all is going well so far. I have not cheated but I am starting to crave toast with butter and marmalade. Instead I had an oat cracker with rhubarb conserve. I don't know if I have lost any actual flab yet but I must say I feel a lot less bloated and sort of lighter in the stomach region.

[jacksfullofaces]

Gobe
Oat cracker much better then bread - in my early twenties I had a 20 inch waist but was too thin due to undiagnosed thyroid disease.
Jacks xx

[gobe]

Still doing my version of reduced carbs and it is working! My stomach is going down like an deflated balloon and not only does it look better I have lost that bloated feeling that I used to hate. I feel lighter in the abdomen and my clothes feel looser in the waist. This is really working for me and I can't believe how easy it is has been. All I have done is changed my breakfast and lunch to low carb and I have kept the main meal at night the same but just omit the carbs from the meal for me and serve the meal with carbs for other half.

[gobe]

Thanks Sweepea. I have been having bio yoghurt for breakfast and find that is enough for me or you could have a slice of Edam or Gouda with a couple of oat crackers or cold meat and oat crackers or some of the snack size cooked cocktail sauages that Pinky mentioned in an earlier post.

Yes, I have cut out bread completely and pasta, rice and potatoes. I don't feel deprived at all strangely enough. It is a lot easier to do than you imagine.

[gobe]

The yoghurt does contain carbs bit since we are aiming at between 40 - 60 grams of carbs per day I figured I would use some of my carb allowance for breakfast plus live yoghurt is good for the stomach and is easy and refreshing to eat in the morning. Good luck Sweetpea and keep us posted!

Btw I think oat porridge for breakfast is fine. I plan on switching to that when the weather gets colder. Oats are naturally lower in carbs than wheat.

[jacksfullofaces]

One important thing with body shape is to be sure to look after your core muscles by not allowing yourself to slump into a c shape. I have a bolster stuck in the back of my chair to force me to sit upright and strengthen my abdominal muscles.
Jacks

[jacksfullofaces]

My husband cooked us sirloin steaks with a small amount of mashed potato, mushrooms and tomatos - lovely and light on the stomach. I don't like high carb foods.
Jacks

[gillypanda]

I'm also fed up with my body shape! I sound unlike all of you though, in that I'm an upside down triangle, small top and like the Michelin man around my middle I weigh about 3.5 stone more than I did 5 years ago, and no matter what I do I cannot lose any weight.

I swim for half an hour every day, just back stroke as I had 2 slipped discs last year. I'm vegetarian and eat well, I'm also doing the My Fitness Pal online which most days says I haven't eaten enough! I can see my body shape becoming just like my mother and my late maternal grandmother's.

My doctor tested for everything when he did my blood tests recently, and as well as menopause he thinks I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome which doesn't help with all the bloating and fat middle. I get really fed up with it all, although the HRT is helping with my overall feeling of wellbeing.

[susan]

No your not being boring. lol.

I am getting so fed up with this weird meno body shape that i am thinking of going totally carb free for a while, goodness knows how that will work out or even if I will be able to stick with it. Alos like a lot of my things I am as you will see just thinking about it.

The thing is, tbough is it really meno or is it age, as my hubbie has got exactly the same thing going on. weird or what.

[shimmy]

I've also been toying with the idea of a carb free diet. Fed up with my meno-pot. I'm only 5ft 2in with a short body and big boobs, so every pound shows. What to eat for breakfast would be my main problem. I'm not a vegetarian but I don't eat a lot of meat(never have done) and simply love my toast in the morning.

[shimmy]

Thank you Pinky for explaining things so well. I'm definately going to make an effort to eat less carbs.

Ground almonds are just higher at 24.9 g of protein per 100g. A big supermarket pack contains 200g, so even if you scoffed the whole bag, it would still only total 49.8g of protein and that's an awful lot of ground almonds, you would feel quite sick after eating that lot........

Ha Ha... I have this image of sitting, watching the television, while trying to get through a big bag of ground almonds ;D

[jacksfullofaces]

Susan
Maybe your husband would benefit from DHEA or testosterone.
Jacks